I didn't really think about this when I started the shop, but somehow I have found out we have turned into a bit of a space for body positivity for some of our customers. I hope this is true, that everyone who comes in here and tries on clothes feels safe and comfortable here. Although of course I have moments of lacking when it comes to my body image, and I wanted to share a story about this.
So, I had one such moment this morning when I looked at my bottom in the mirror in a pair of lace knickers and I felt many things - annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, repulsed and driven to change this. I had that moment of "right I'm going to start running". And then I called bullshit on this straightaway because I don't have the time, energy or desire to do that. I also had that moment of realising it was just about conforming to a body requirement that is not mine, and that actually this body is amazing. And I reflected hard on this.
Firstly, this body grew me up to this point, it allowed me to play tag and netball, to go dancing, travel the world. In it and with it I have finished 3 degrees, worked in wonderful and awful jobs, run, jumped, cried, kissed and had sex, most importantly I've done this with my beloved husband with whom I made a baby. Then this body grew that baby and laboured for hours with him, then it was sliced open to release him into the world, and then it healed from this.
It has failed me at times and then reigned supreme as I have honed it and worked it and used it to break physical and psychological barriers. This body has let me experience the most intense pleasure, to see ridiculous beauty, to feel absolutely glorious. And it has been the site of incredible pain and loss.
And if this body was bigger it would be a larger version of its awesomeness, and if it was smaller it would be a smaller version of its greatness. That's all, that would be the only difference, it would be bigger or smaller, the other things would remain the same.
And if this body couldn't walk, it would still be the home of my heart and my brain, it would allow me to see and hear things, and to hug those I love. And if this body couldn't see it would still hear, cuddle, touch and learn. And if it couldn't.... it would still do other things, and it would still be amazing.
This body is my home. The only true home really. It is the place in which and through which I live this life, that allows me to know and experience life.
How strange that I would then judge it for its size, for the way it looks.
How truly, shockingly weird that ANYONE else in the world thinks they have a right to an opinion on it.PS - the cute little pic I found on Pinterest, here is the link